So Many "I's" in Infertility

As I look back on my journey I can think of so many "I's". Insecure..... Infuriated..... Inept .....Inconsolable. Infertility is a long and hard journey and there are so many "I" words that I trip over along the way. Right now my "I" word is Isolated. I feel very alone and Isolated in my journey. I have been battling a year and a half and I feel alone. The loneliness of infertility can be paralyzing at times. The people around you often don't understand the struggle you are gong through, and you don't really want to talk to some people about it because of what they would say or how they would make you feel. I personally have not told my mother about my infertility issues because I cannot deal with her look of pity before she over spiritualises it and then continually asks me about "how it's going".  By making the choice to not include people it creates a feeling of isolation in the situation. It's hard to open yourself up and share your fertility struggle because it leaves you so completely open and vulnerable. It's hard to choose that vulnerability. It seems so easy to just close up and only expose your tough shell to protect the soft spots that you know hurt.